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Conscious Communicator Tip #25Communication Sin #4Lack of Focused Attention, Pt. 3 (< 300 words)

In a recent tele-class in my Communication Power for Leaders Series we discussed how giving others our full focused attention is very attractive and helps us develop the charisma that can draw people into our sphere of influence in a positive way.

That’s one reason why offering others our focused attention is important. Let me share another.

During the teleclass last week one of the students, who has been attending our 5-part series regularly said, “It’s infuriating when people multi-task when I’m trying to speak with them, especially if they’re typing a message on their computer or smart phone.”

Yet, this person admitted to committing the same egregious sin herself.

Since early childhood most of us have been taught “The Golden Rule,” which is to treat others as we would like to be treated. Yet, all too often many of us violate our own commitment to this “golden rule.” I think its time we got back to it.

In this technological crazed 21st century culture its time for us to consciously choose to be more “in the moment.”

To do that I recommend something I learned upon taking up the practice of yoga 15 years ago, it’s called “beginner’s mind.” Over the years it has helped me be more mindful and in the moment.

“Beginner’s mind” is the mindset we need when we are learning something new. It takes focus because we have not yet mastered the skills required to effectively fulfill the task.

We can use ‘beginner’s mind’ when communicating with others by dropping the judgments and the beliefs about what the person in front us is bringing to us.

By doing so, we just may pick up new, important information while building an ally we may need to influence down the road, tomorrow, next week or next year.

Hmm, something to think about? What do you think? Leave me a comment below!

’til next time,
skip weisman, transforming leadership and workplace communication to deliver champion level results

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. – For a list of all Power Words in the Conscious Communicator Series click here

There are 8 comments. Add yours.

  1. In my Clark Kent job, I sit at a public desk, so I have people at my desk all day long. If they have come by for information, I stop, put my hands in my lap and listen. If they have come by for a chat, I pull back from my keyboard, and listen, and then pull back in when I have decided I want to get back to work. If they don’t pick that up, I may start typing. Sometimes they will stand there talking even when I have turned away back to work. It fascinates me how many of us do not pick up on the non-verbals, and how many do.

    • Skip Weisman, Workplace Communication Expert

      Pam,
      Thank you for your comments. The final point you made is a great lead in to my final segment on “Focused Attention” I’ll be offering in next week’s article. So, be on the lookout for that.

      My only comment for you is that you may want to be a little more direct with those people that you need to move beyond their chit-chat so you can get back to work and simply excuse yourself, “I’m sorry I can’t stay engaged with you in this conversation right now I do need to get a few things done before noon and have to get back to it, I hope you don’t mind.”

      That way, at least you are acknowledging them, and letting them know its time for you to get back to work. If they choose to ramble on without your attention, then that’s their decision, as long as the distraction doesn’t negatively impact you as you move on.

      Thanks, again for being inspired to leave a comment.
      Skip

  2. Cari D'Esposito

    I appreciate your message about being focused and giving others complete attention. I love your “beginner’s mind” analogy. It can be applied to so many things. Thank you for sharing.

    • Skip Weisman, Workplace Communication Expert

      Cari
      Thanks for stopping by and being inspired to leave a comment. I’m pleased you like the “beginner’s mind” suggestion. It definitely takes a conscious effort to remind ourselves of that and get in the habit.
      Skip

  3. Brian Lynch

    Skip,
    After decades of being tagged as unapproachable knowing I can make the decision to drop pretenses and enter each new situation looking to see what can be learned will definitely help me face this challenge. Thanks for the tip. I will be looking to apply it in both the workplace and my home.
    Sincerely,
    Brian Lynch

    • Skip Weisman, Workplace Communication Expert

      Brian,
      Thank you for being inspired to leave your comment. I am so pleased you found actionable value in this blog article. Thanks for reading and responding. Feel free to come back and comment any time.
      All the best,
      Skip

  4. Patricia Handfield

    I appreciate the direction in working towards really communicating: listening and hearing the other party, and responding if we have something to contribute. It is not always easy to focus, stay calm, not react, and to communicate with intention. This is something that I work on and find it does make a difference. We all are in situations from time to time where there are competing demands on us, and on the others in the group. The Yoga view is helpful to me in remembering.

    • Skip Weisman, Workplace Communication Expert

      Patricia,
      Yes, communicating with “intention.” That is what being a “conscious communicator” is all about. Thanks for using that word in your reply. Communicating with intention is, or should be, the extension and output of being a more conscious communicator. Thanks for that reminder and adding value to this conversation!
      Skip

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