Audio Podcast (Click the link below to stream the audio recording, right click and select “save file as” to save to your hard drive):
The 4 Truths of Workplace Communication
After listening to the podcast please come back and leave a comment below to continue the conversation.
’til next time, Communicate with Power!
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A phone conversation last fall led to a huge, unexpected breakthrough for me.
It came from the emcee of a large event at which I was speaking.
She called calling to get information about me for her introduction and a little humorous post keynote banter.
Towards the end of our conversation she asked, “Skip, what is your secret talent?”
I let out a nervous laugh and replied, “I have no secret talent, my older brother got all the talent in my family.”
I proceeded to tell about how my infatuation with rock and roll superstar Bruce Springsteen led me to start guitar lessons six years ago.
To which she suggested, “so you can play and sing a song for us.”
“No, I couldn’t do that, it would cause mass evacuation of the venue,” I said.
“You could just strum a few chords, couldn’t you?”
I agreed to that.
Deep down I knew strumming a few chords wasn’t going to be enough.
I hung up the phone thinking, “what did I just get myself into?”
Immediately, I sent a text that read, “HELP!” to my guitar instructor, with whom I had not had a lesson in more than 15 months.
For the next six weeks we rehearsed the song closest to being ready for “prime time.”
Six weeks later, in front of an audience of 800, I delivered a 50-minute keynote address.
Despite the audience size I was completely comfortable doing that.
Not so much with the guitar and singing.
But, there I was, with a guitar wrapped around my neck telling the story about how I had come to put myself in this precarious position and being totally uncomfortable in that moment.
It was the most intense “comfort zone busting” experience I’ve had in a very, very long time.
When it was all over, I was energized and excited having done something in front of 800 people my wife thought I was crazy to do. (to view my performance, go here)
I felt this way despite nerves taking me seriously off key to open the song. Plus, losing my place glancing down at the lyrics in the monitor I didn’t need.
I am now working on refining that song and incorporating four others to prepare for performing at an open mic night somewhere locally.
Our comfort zones hold us back in ways we don’t even realize.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda is the lament of losers. It’s all about our Level 1 Leadership Communication (aka “self-communication).
What comfort zone do you need to bust through in 2015?
What comfort zones are you committed to busting through in 2015?
Leave a comment and commitment below.
’til next time, Communicate with Power!
The blog article on Monday on the topic of a “mindset of abundance” received more comments than any in a long time. If you haven’t read it yet, go here.
I’m pleased so many people found value in the article.
If it weren’t for a mindset of abundance I would not be writing this because I would be out of business.
When I started full-time it was 3 weeks after the terrorist attacks on 9/11/01 and I was operating just 65 miles north of Ground Zero in New York City.
But, there was no turning back as I told my former employer I would be leaving on September 30th.
That first year and beyond was a struggle.
Despite the fact I had a significant local business relationships from my previous career on which to build, the scarcity mindset of the times kept people from investing in their businesses and themselves.
Every night I would give my wife a recap of my business building activities and it could have become demoralizing and depressing.
My wife was a patient soul back then.
If not for her I could have been homeless. She had a stable job with excellent salary and benefits.
Each night she would try to console me by saying things like…
“Times are tough. You shouldn’t expect too much right now, budgets are tight and people just aren’t going to spend money.”
Lucky for me I had spent the prior two years building my abundant mindset muscle, having attended Anthony Robbins workshops every 3-4 months.
I would always respond, “thanks, hon, that may be true to an extent and I can’t buy into that. I know there are people out there who want to improve themselves, their companies and their people. I just need to work harder to find those that are.”
“Plus, I have to get better explaining my value so that it connects with their needs.”
I gradually turned things around.
Then, 5 years later the financial crisis meltdown of 2007-08 struck, and again the abundant mindset got me through.
How, specifically has a mindset of abundance made a difference in your life? Leave a comment below to keep this conversation going.
’til next time, Communicate with Power!
My wife and I and 24 others were standing on the river bed of the Gallatin River preparing our rafts for a white water excursion while on vacation.
After placing the rafts on the edge of the water, the head rafting guide call us together for a safety talk.
The instructions were pretty generic, and some basic common sense but did include specific scenarios we needed to aware of.
About mid-way through the 10-minute talk, a young boy of about 12 years old raised his hand.
The guide acknowledged him for a question.
I couldn’t hear it completely, but it began with “what if…”
Without skipping a beat replied the guide replied:
“Young man, in life there are a lot of ‘what if’s,” you’re just going to have to adapt and overcome!”
With that the guide gave us a few more instructions after which the young man’s hand was again in the air.
His older sister standing in front of me begged the guide not to call on her little brother again, to no avail.
Another “what if” question ensued.
The guide responded with just 3 words, “adapt and overcome!”
I thought that was such great advice, especially for a very impressionable young man like that.
So many of my small business clients seem to struggle with employees who struggle with “change” in their workplace.
In the 21st century change is coming at us faster than ever, especially regarding technology.
Employees of different ages and generations are all struggling with various levels of change.
Small business leaders must be steadfast in their expectations regarding employees dealing with workplace change.
The expectation should be that employees be proactive in identifying ways to “adapt and overcome.”
If a 12-year old boy rafting down white water rapids can do it, adult employees in a work environment certainly can.
’til next time, make it a great week!
P.S.- To triple your ability to communicate with impact over the next year, get 52 Power Words sent to you, one per week for a year at www.52PowerWords.com to subscribe today!
In an old Seinfeld sitcom episode, Jerry and George are having one of their discussions at the diner.
George makes a comment and Jerry puts him down.
George replies, “Don’t dismiss this. You’re very quick to dismiss.”
There is a lot of dismissing going on in the workplace today.
Just last week I was delivering my workshop on “The 7 Deadliest Sins of Leadership & Workplace Communication” and a director admitting to being dismissive of one of her direct reports.
It was during my segment on “Communication Sin #4, A Lack of Respectful ReBUTals.”
She said, “I just did that earlier today.”
I asked her if she would tell us about it and she said,
“One of my people came to me with an idea and I thanked her for coming to me and then I said, ‘but, we can’t do that here, it won’t work.”
Ideas are the seeds of innovation.
Since the dawn of time innovation is what has brought us to the most exciting time in the history of the world.
Since the Industrial Revolution innovation has driven growth and success.
Without ideas organizations become stagnant.
Stagnancy leads to decline!
Decline leads to decay!
Decay leads to death!
Many organizational leaders allow ideas to be brought forth only from a precious few chosen people.
Those in the inner circle.
The best ideas come from the front line personnel who are in the trenches seeing first hand how things really work.
Yet, those are the ones who get dismissed most.
Once dismissed, rarely does that same person come back to try again.
Any ideas die with that individual.
They stop thinking, they stop trying, they start going through the motions.
“Leadership Communication Sin #4 – A Lack of Respectful ReBUTals” is the cause.
For once George Costanza was right, “Don’t dismiss, you’re very quick to dismiss!”
Many of us often are.
’til next time make it a great weekend & Communicate With Power!
Skip
P.S.- To have 52 Power Words sent to you weekly for the next year, go to http://www.52PowerWords.com to subscribe today!
Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin turn over in their graves whenever this phrase is attributed to them.
Every day they must be spinning like a top.
“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, is the definition of insanity.”
The problems I have with this statement are many but I’ll bore you with just a couple:
Personally, if I do something over and over again, I better expect a different result.
Isn’t that what learning and practice is ALL about.
If I practice the guitar and play the same chord progression over and over, shouldn’t I get better and expect a different result?
If not, why bother practicing at all?
Same with athletes and cooks.
Same with math students.
Stop throwing around this phrase as gospel and start thinking for yourself.
Question this and other similar phrases thrown out as universal truths the next time you hear one, then send it to me to add to my “UnPower Communication Series.”
This phrase, and it’s sister phrase you’ll read about next time, is now part of my “UnPower Communication Series.”
If you have any words or phrases you detest and believe are “UnPower Communication” I want to hear about them.
Email me at Skip@WorkplaceCommunicationExpert.com and I’ll write about them, if appropriate.
’til next time make it a great day & Communicate With Power!
Best Regards,
Skip
P.S.- To triple your ability to communication with impact over the next year, get 52 Power Words sent to you, one per week for a year at www.52PowerWords.com to subscribe today!
Time for me to rant.
There are two phrases that drive me crazy and people have to stop saying them as if they’re gospel.
The first one is “if you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got!”
It has a nice ring to it.
And, it is not accurate, in so many ways!
Will a car dealer in business since the 1980s selling cars the way he/she always sold cars, get what they always got in terms of sales?
NO!
The Internet has changed the car sales game!
I’m 54 years old.
If I “always eat and drink what I’ve always eaten and drunken, will I get what I always got” back in my 20s?
NO, I’d be a fat big!
These types of phrases, I have another coming up for you in a few days, are called “Universals,” or “Globalizations.”
It means they are phrased in a way that makes them true in all circumstances, 100% of the time.
The last 20 years has seen this phrase, and it’s sister I’ll rant about in a few days, come into our lexicon as universal truths.
They are not!
People recite these phrases as gospel trying to get other people to change their ways.
Try this, instead of blindly accepting universals and globalizations start questioning them.
Test them for accuracy across different contexts.
I’m not saying the statement isn’t true in many circumstances. It is.
Just not in every circumstance and especially in the circumstances they’re being used in.
This phrase, and it’s sister phrase you’ll read about next time, is now part of my “UnPower Communication Series.”
If you have any words or phrases you detest and believe are “UnPower Communication” I want to hear about them.
Email me at Skip@WorkplaceCommunicationExpert.com and I’ll write about them, if appropriate.
’til next time make it a great weekend & Communicate With Power!
Best Regards,
Skip
P.S.- To have 52 Power Words sent to you weekly for the next year, go to www.52PowerWords.com to subscribe today!
Have you ever made a request of someone and they responded with a “maybe,” or a “may be?”
Such as, “I maybe can get there before the meeting starts.” Or, “I may be able to get that to you before your deadline.”
“Maybe” reeks with uncertainty.
“Maybe” provides wiggle room for someone who doesn’t want to hold themselves to a commitment.
This is “Unpower Communication.”
There will always be times when we’re going to be uncertain.
The world is an uncertain place.
There is much more uncertainty in the world than certainty.
Too many of us default to “maybe” when we could easily make a commitment.
Often we choose not to because we want that flexibility.
Most of the time we use ”maybe” as a qualifier because its better than saying, “that’s not a priority for me and I’m not going to help.”
This is much more truthful, but it puts us in a position of not fulfilling someone’s request, which, in the moment would make the person not like us.
Using “UnPower Communication” comes from low self-esteem.
Using “UnPower Communication” allows us to set the expectation bar low so we can step right over it.
We under-promise in hopes of delivering the minimum expectation.
What if you stepped up and spoke the truth when you can’t commit, letting the other person know upfront they can’t count on you, instead of having them wait and hope?
What if you stepped up and committed to something and held yourself accountable to fulfilling that promise.
Making promises you can’t keep is not a good way to operate, and offering uncertainty without a commitment by using the “UnPower Communication” of a “maybe” is just as bad.
One more thought, after reviewing last year’s Power Word Series I decided to re-release it in a year long weekly series call 52 Power Words. You can subscribe for free at http://www.52PowerWords.com.
“Maybe” is “UnPower Communication” #4 in this new series. If you have any words you think belong in my UnPower Communication Series email me at Skip@WorkplaceCommunicationExpert.com and I’ll write about them, if appropriate.
’til next time make it a great weekend & “Communicate With Power!”
Best Regards,
Skip
P.S. To have 52 Power Words sent to you weekly for the next year, go to http://www.52PowerWords.com to subscribe today!
“Lack of listening” is often among the top complaints about communication in the workplace.
Just as often it is misplaced blame.
This “lack of listening” is identified as the reason people do not follow through on requests.
Parents, you know what I’m speaking about, don’t you?
When our children don’t do what we tell them to, we tell them to “listen to us this time.”
Chances are they “listened” last time. Or at least they heard us.
They just chose not to act.
You have to stop blaming a lack of follow through and action on a “lack of listening.”
Chances are your employees or team members heard you, too.
They, too, just chose not to act.
If this is a problem for you, this is a problem that needs fixing.
The only way to solve a problem is to find its cause.
The cause of people not following through on your requests is not a “lack of listening.”
If this is a problem for you, how can you identify the cause?
If this is a problem for you, what do you have to do to build higher levels of trust and respect with these individuals?
Something to think about?
Have you ever blamed “lack of listening” for someone not following through on your request?
Leave a comment below to continue the discussion.
’til next time, Communicate With Power!
“You really inspired me! Your keynote address gave me the guts to begin shouting from the mountaintop…
‘Hire me, I am good at what I do!’ ”
Mark Curtis
TV Anchor & Author
"The work Skip did with our Information Technologies Division transformed how we communicate and work together, including bringing us a new identity and name, as the city’s Metro Hartford Innovation Services Department.
Skip’s ability to customize his approach and bring flexibility to our specific needs, situation and unique work environment, gave us just what we needed, when we needed it. He’s been a pleasure to work with and brought our organization high-value and a measurable return on our investment."
Sabina E. Sitaru, PMP MISM
Chief Innovation Officer
The City of Hartford & Hartford City Schools
