Last week a client wrote to me…
“What am I supposed to do if people don’t want to listen to me, which is a choice (I saw a clip of one of your seminars online), then they are not going to, right?”
It’s great when clients actual take to heart suggested strategies.
And it is very true.
As I say, “listening is choice, not a skill.”
So, what do you do if others are not “listening” to you?
Have you ever had a feeling others weren’t listening to you?
If so, you have two choices.
- Try other strategies to get their attention
- Seek to understand the reasons behind the lack of listening.
The first option is dealing with symptoms.
The second option is dealing with cause.
Fixing a problem can only be accomplished by knowing the cause.
Therefore, if this “lack of listening” is a problem for you, which of the two options above would you choose?
There is a cost and benefit to each:
Option 1 costs include:
- Wasting time on strategies that will exacerbate the problem,
- Continuing to erode the relationship making it worse.
Option 1 benefits are:
- It can be implemented quickly,
- You may get short term compliance to move something forward.
Option 2 costs include:
- Investment of time and energy to understand the individual’s position,
- Having a difficult conversation about another’s behavior comes with uncertainty and fear, and it, too may make the relationship worse if not done properly.
Option 2 benefits include:
- Fixing a problem so you won’t have to deal with it any longer,
- Building a more positive, productive relationship and work environment.
It’s your choice, always.
Which would you choose?
What strategies do you have to fix a “lack of listening?
Please leave a comment below.
Next email in this series look for more specifics around addressing this “lack of listening” with Option 2.
‘til then, make it a great week!
Listening is such an important topic, and I love the phrase, “Listening is a choice, not a skill”.
Keith,
Thanks for stopping by and being inspired to leave a comment. I’m pleased you love my take on “listening skills.” We have to want to listen and when we do we can, if not, we won’t. Thanks!
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